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By Katherine Kiang
KaTsZoNe Newsletters > KatsZoNe - Issue 88 - Foggy Inside

2 May 2012

Hi everyone,

I'm a bit delayed with this month's issue/episode of KaTsZoNe.  To my co-workers reading this, I have not taken an unexpected trip to a tropical island!  I have taken this week off to look after my mom who fell last Friday.  I had a doctor make a housecall on the weekend and it appears that she has not fractured any bones but she is in pain.

Early this morning (May 2nd), while I helped mom walk to the washroom, I looked out the window and noticed it was foggy.  Normally, I can see about 4-5 houses away but today, I could see just up to the backyard of my next door neighbour's.  This is not the first time I have seen fog, of course, but, I started to think about what has happened since Friday and how mom and I will get through this ordeal.

Last month, you read about my fun times - "Mining, Music, Motorcycles".  Most of the time, in spite of the occasional sickness, irritating health issues, and workload, life is not excrutiatingly difficult.  Honestly, when I hear about my friend, Katerina, who has Lyme Disease and how the highlight of her day is being able to get out of bed and do some cleaning, I can say, she has a rough life.  She thinks of movement as a blessing, and her friends and family as blessings.  For me, not having my Blackberry can be inconvenient and disappointing, just like not having my Starbucks cup of chai latte or latte in the morning, but, for Katerina, her Blackberry is a godsend when it is hard to get out of bed.  She was ecstatic when she discovered Blackberry Messenger (BBM) because she does not have to get out of bed to use her computer.  I felt so good hearing that just these past few days, she was able to walk about and clean -- what she was cleaning, she did not say.  For me, I would have said, "Ugh...cleaning.  What a boring chore."  For someone who cannot move and can accomplish one task, I know she was thrilled.  It was the highlight of her day.  Katerina is an artist.  Her website is katerinapaints.webs.com
and I will let you read about her mission.  She truly inspires me.  Katerina is trying to set up a Lyme Awareness walk in Brampton on May 19th, to help raise funds to set up Ontario's first Lyme testing facility - www.lymewalkbrampton.ca.  I hope you will take a look and share these websites with others. 

Whatever you have gone through or are going through, whether you are a patient or a caregiver, you have probably wondered what's going on in my life?  Why are we going through these hard times.  You may walk around at times in your life feeling a fog inside your head.  For those who have been ill, it's hard to think clearly when you're in pain.  You can endure for a short time, and then, it's like forever.  For those who are caregivers, we have to try and keep a clear head, even though our hearts are breaking.  We want to cry, but, we try to create a positive, cheerful and brave face for those whom we are taking care of.  We feel guilty when we snap.  We feel bad when we are sad about what has happened to our loved ones.  Sometimes, we even take on the pain where our loved ones are physically hurting.  The psychological pain can become an actual, physical pain.  If this sounds familiar to you, I know what you're going through.  Oftentimes, it's not easy to talk about it. 

My former youth pastor once preached, we all have "character building" days.  It's part of life.  Some people, like Katerina, is experiencing the tough lessons early in life.  She was "chosen" to bear a torch for Lyme Disease whom doctors in Canada will not diagnose.  I saw stories on the CTV program, "W5".  Katerina had aspirations of becoming a doctor when she first entered York University, as an undergrad student.  She became ill before she could graduate. 

My tough lessons in life came when I helped to look after my dad in the latter years of his life.  It has helped to prepare me to look after my mom in the past several years until now.  I have seen how my experience has helped me build character - little by little.  The lessons I have remembered best are those which occurred when life was tough.  If I can help others who may go through similar experiences as what I have gone through, I am glad.  I remember how alone I felt until I was approached by compassionate strangers, acquaintances, and co-workers who understood.  If I can give back, like I have received from others, this would bring me great joy and give me a greater purpose in life.  The fog is less terrifying.

If you asked me back in December, 2004, when I wrote the first issue/episode of KaTsZoNe whether I could see myself, still making up stories, each month, for over seven years and reach Episode #88 (oh my God!), I would say, "Are you kidding me?"  I thrive on change, novelty and different experiences.  Change can be scary, but, it can also be exciting.  New journeys can be unexpectedly nerve-wrecking, but, also enjoyable.  So, if I have made it to #88, I guess I have not bored myself to sleep yet! 

Happy Mother's Day (on May 13th in North America) to my awesome, loving mom and to all the moms out there who give your unconditional love to your family every single day! 

Thanks for staying with me for another episode of KaTsZoNe.  Until next time...




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