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By Katherine Kiang

Sock Land Mystery

March/April 2019

Once upon a time, in a land not too far away, was a beautiful County called Sock Land. Sock Land was governed by Mayor Jessica Hanes along with three Council members. Mayor Jessica grew up in Sock Land. She was proud to be a third generation mayor of Sock Land.

Sock Land had a diverse population of citizens. Long and short, black and white, rainbows and striped citizens all made valuable contributions to society. No job too big nor too small. When newborns needed a knitted pair of socks, a couple of pink, yellow or green socks would jump in to serve. If a college student needed a pair of socks to attend classes in the winter, a couple of large, black athlete socks may go and provide the student some warmth. Citizens of Sock Land also had couples of Nylon Knee Highs. A young woman just entering her first office job, might wear Knee Highs (instead of a one-piece panty hose) if she chose to wear a pant suit. Citizens of Sock Land were only too happy to serve their customers any way they can.

When Mayor Jessica sat on her Grandpa's knee, she remembered many stories about Sock Land. Citizens of Sock Land were easily paired up. Couples spent many years together. They spent a great deal of time in the natural waters. Rarely would a couple separate. Sometimes, one would float away down the river into what was thought to be the Big Ocean. It was sad, yet, there was usually a beautiful and peaceful send-off. The young and old would bid farewell to Uncle McGregor or Grandma Secret, and then watch as they drifted away. That was just a part of life. They prepared themselves for the day when a partner would be gone.

Mayor Jessica encountered a mystery which began when her father was in Office. As Sock Land became modernized, the citizens of Sock Land were gripped with fear for their loved ones. It seemed to stem from the changes from bathing and swimming in natural waters to modern pools of water. When Whirl Pool, GE Pool, Samsung Pool, Maytag Pool and Pools of LG were created, everyone loved the choice of controlled hot and cold temperatures of the water. There was also free soap for everyone like Tide, Gain, Arm & Hammer, President’s Choice, and Old Dutch. However, the citizens of Sock Land noticed that there were more disappearances of their loved ones. They no longer felt at peace being able to see their loved ones drift into Paradise. Loved ones mysteriously disappeared when bathing or swimming in one of the large Pools.

Mayor Jessica and Council decided to pass a By-Law. Those who entered any Pools in Sock Land must do so in pairs. And, each of them must enter the Pools with their match. They could not ask someone different to join them in the Pools. If members of a family of E. Bauer wanted to enter the same Pool, they had to look the same. Red, white and Blue EB ankle sock could not ask a family member who was grey, blue and red to be their buddy in any Pool. If someone could not find their match who looked like them, they would be allowed to use a Pool by applying for a special status license from the County. This was quite a restriction but in order to protect their citizens, Mayor Jessica and Council passed the new By-Law.

Once the By-Law on the use of Pools took effect, the mysterious disappearances of citizens dropped. All was well for a couple months, but, one day, striped blue-white, cotton Miniso ankle sock named Jim lost his partner, Bob, in the Maytag Pool. Police, their families and citizens of Sock Land looked everywhere for Bob who was nowhere to be found. Everyone was devastated, including Mayor Jessica and all the Council members. They thought that the new By-Law would be effective! They thought their citizens would be safe. But, the disappearance of Miniso Bob hit everyone really hard.

Mayor Jessica was personally shaken. She recalled her childhood when her twin sister, Jenny, disappeared. All parents in Sock Land had kids in pairs - twins, quadruplets, sextuplets, etc. So, to lose a sibling early in life was very tragic. Jessica would be overcome by more grief. Her boyfriend, Tyler, disappeared when they were teens. Jessica was suppose to meet Tyler one day at the Pools of LG. Somehow, Tyler went to the Samsung Pool and was never seen again.

At the age of 32, Jessica was successful in her career, but, as a single in Sock Land, she often felt like a “throw away”. Couples took pity on her because she did not have a partner or spouse. She lost her best friend and partner, Tyler, and did not find her “perfect match” again. In Sock Land, one had to look exactly like you in order to be considered a “perfect match”.

Mayor Jessica realized that by imposing the new By-Law, everyone had to find their exact match in order to use and enjoy the Pools in Sock Land. Even she had to apply for a special license to use a Pool since she did not have a “perfect match”.

It seems that we, humans, have been trained from birth, to wear matching socks. Grandmas knit same colour socks for their grandkids. As school kids, we were late going to school because we lost our matching sock. We are embarrassed when we accidentally put a different colour dress sock to go to work (hoping no one would notice).

When a sock goes missing in the washing machine, the other is just left aside. We’re afraid to throw away the one sock thinking maybe we will find it one day. Years later, it might still be missing and we may finally decide to throw it out, unless we can find an exact sock which matches it.

Many of us have lost someone - a spouse/partner, a sibling. a parent, child, or our “perfect match”. A sock without its “sole mate” (goes with shoes) can be inconvenient and sad. For people who have lost a soulmate it can be sad and devastating. Instead of feeling like a “throw away”, we need to believe that it’s okay being single. It is also okay to find someone who might be very different looking as ourselves. For humans, “different looking” may be different colour, cultural differences, or different tastes and hobbies. If you’ve lost your match, you can still find love with another - no need to wait forever. 

Mayor Jessica is finally happy being single. But, one of her friends introduced her to Walmart’s George I, a sexy nylon knee high. Apparently, he has many brothers (in a box) - George II, George III, George IV, up to George X! Jessica figures if George I doesn’t work out, his brothers are all strong and handsome eligible bachelors!

I’m happy to report that Miniso Jim found his partner Bob! I am always happy to report a found sock which seems quite rare these days!

Unfortunately, the day Miniso Bob was found, a long Northern Reflections bamboo beige sock went missing!  I am glad that there are others to replace it.

Thanks to all my socks for supporting and comforting me, for keeping me warm, keeping me dry, and giving me a good reason to do laundry, even though they may disappear from time to time.

Thank you all for your support through all seasons! Like various socks in life, I’m glad that those of you who may have disappeared from my life for a time have now reappeared! What a joy! What a thrill! And, even though I enjoy old socks and old friends, I also welcome new socks and new friends in my life!

I hope you will join me again for the May/June episode of KaTsZoNe.

Enjoy Spring - SOON!